Shinzen Young, a wonderful teacher in the Vipassana lineage will be offering a non-residential meditation retreat in Broomfield, CO from February 14-16.

See this website for details on the event and how to register www.sierraretreats.org.

Forgiveness is at the heart of developing compassion. Many of us carry around memories of actions, decisions, and words we have used against ourselves, and against others. We may also carry the memories and stories of how we have been hurt by others. Over time these have solidified into contraction in the mind and chronic tension in the body. Until we let ourselves feel this, and allow ourselves to forgive ourselves for how we have hurt ourselves, how we have hurt others, and begin to forgive those who have hurt us, we cannot move towards freedom and happiness.

A first step here is often to catalog those things we wish to forgive ourselves for or wish to forgive others for. It is helpful to write these down, perhaps in a journal. Look at each item and notice the felt sense in your body. Is there tension around your heart? Perhaps in your belly or jaw, sadness or the tingling of excitement or anxiety… observe your reaction. Our bodily felt sense can tell us alot about what we are carrying emotionally.

Are these memories, stories, situations that you are really willing to let go of? Do you feel ready to at least attempt forgiveness? If so put a check mark next to each one you feel ready to face and make your best attempt at forgiveness/self-compassion.

I will be posting another audio feed/downloadable podcast soon that will be a guided mindfulness exercise on forgiveness. This is a tool which you can apply to one or more of these memories you have chosen to direct forgiveness towards. Look, or should I say listen for that soon.

Warm regards,

David

Forgiveness is at the heart of compassion for both ourselves and others.  We forgive ourselves a little bit each time we are able to bring our unconditional presence to whatever we have been avoiding in our lives, whether it is physical pain, a toxic relationship, an old emotional wound, anger or grief we never felt, someone who we feel has caused us pain, our perceived failures in our lives….it can look any way and there are so many things that we avoid in our lives.

The energy of forgiveness is spacious and soft, gentle and accepting. With the mindful approach we turn towards our pain, not away as is the habit for most.  I know that I am given so many opportunities to forgive in my mindfulness practice. Life gives us many opportunities as well. A re-occuring memory surfaces of how I hurt someone, or how I was hurt along with the inner dialogue and the painful contraction, perhaps anger or rage, perhaps sadness or despair.  We welcome all of it with open arms.  We let it into our awareness, even if just for a brief period. We are beginning to connect with the core experience of what we have avoided. 

If avoidance arises, how does it arise? It is part of the nature of the conditioned human mind that we avoid pain and seek comfort or pleasure. This is samsara, the endless cycle of suffering that mindfulness meditation is meant to be an antidote for. This avoidance can look many ways. Perhaps we are in so much pain we turn to food, to TV, to drugs or alcohol, to a new relationship, to pornography, or shopping to try and erase the pain. We bury it and it surfaces again and again. The compassionate way is to gentle turn toward our suffering and let it in little by little. Get to know it. Treat it as a welcome guest rather than a villain who we must keep out at all costs.

These memories and experiences in life and in our practice arise as doors opening, or brief and auspicious arising for opportunities to forgive ourselves and others.  We can begin this process by aligning our mindfulness or intention to open to the whole experience with this unconditional acceptance and take the experience however it arises, as sadness, rage, anger, joy, bitterness, despair, anxiety, excitement…..whatever it is we let it come, and we let go into it moment by moment, breath by breath.

Each time we begin our meditation practice we can set this intention for forgiving ourselves and others. I do this by repeating these phrases silently to myself from the Brahma Viharas on Conciliation and Atonement at the beginning of each formal practice period.

If there is any way I have harmed myself, either knowingly or unknowingly,
through action of body, speech, or mind, I ask forgiveness.
If there is any way I have suffered harm by reason of anything I have thought, or said, or done,
I forgive myself.
If there is any way I have harmed another, either on purpose or by accident,
by reason of anything I have thought, or said, or done, I ask forgiveness.
If there is any way another has harmed me, either knowingly or unknowingly,
through action of body, speech, or mind, I forgive them.

Note: This guided deep relaxation is now available for download as a podcast on the itunes store and as an mp3 file on this website.

Please enjoy the following streaming audio of a guided deep relaxation technique I’ve developed for my clients. This is a cross between a progressive relaxation and a mindfulness of body exercise. This will help you to become more familiar with your inner landscape, feel more connected to yourself and begin to build a reliable internal resource for relaxing more deeply. Regular practice is required to feel the full benefits of the exercise.

Therapists and healers please feel free to link this or distribute to your clients.

Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed for the next 30 minutes or so and follow along with the audio.

A useful mindfulness of body exercise that helps us get a sense of our internal landscape and the physical and emotional sensations going on in this moment is the known as the body scan.

I often use this excercise as a way to take pause and get back in touch with myself in the present moment. It is a nice way to ground and center yourself. I also suggest it to clients as way to get grounding back after an upsetting or destabilizing event or situation.

We can do this by lying down or standing up.  I suppose any posture is ok for this exercise, but the lying down or standing up are the most conducive to feeling the whole body in my opinon.

We simply start at the crown of the head or the bottoms of the feet and slowly scan our attention (upward or downward depending on where you are starting).  We want to feel deeply into the body.  Feeling soft tissue, ligaments, and even bone. Noticing blood flow, tension or relaxation, areas of numbness int he body. Whatever is present in the body in that moment is what we notice.  We move sequentially, so if we were starting in the feet we would slowly move upwards: feet, lower legs, knees, upper legs, pelvic region, lower back, stomach, upper/mid back, chest shoulders, arms, hands, neck, face and head.  Spending a few moments in each area deepening and soaking awareness into whatever is present.

This can be a very quick practice perhaps finished in ten breaths, or we may linger for a few minutes or more in each body part.

Often, there are interruptions to our practice, or at least our formal practice.

Interruption, does not mean we have to throw away the whole practice, or castigate ourselves. It is an unhelpful habit to think that ‘I am a failure’, and to somehow feel negatively towards ourselves because our formal practice has fallen away. Of course if this thought comes up, we can choose to let it go, rather than indulge it and show some self-compassion. We can pick up again at any time, whether this means practice of mindfulness meditation on the cushion/chair, or ‘practice in life.’

At any moment we can pick up again our chosen practice and give it our wholehearted effort, even if it has been 3 days, a week, a month or 10 years since we last practiced. In the Buddhist tradition there is a concept of Merit. Merit is accumulated as we practice and does not diminish over time. Our ability to sit with ourselves and all of our experiences and the spiritual strength we have developed will still be there when we come back to our old or new friend, mindfulness meditation.

Fresh start is a particular and very useful technique taught to me by one of my teachers from the Tibetan Buddhist tradition. When we sit and things become chaotic, our thoughts are wild and out of control, our body hurts, we feel we are unable to attend to our breath for even a moment, we can just stop everything. As she would say ‘drop the whole project.’ Change your posture, relax, unfurl the legs, open the eyes look outward and just be. When we feel ready we can resume without any guilt, self-criticism and judgement. Using this technique is like hitting the reset button. We start all over again and only what is happening in the present is real, and that is what we choose to relate to.

Fresh start is a great perspective for life. At any moment we can just drop the whole project, letting go of fear, hatred, bored, excitement, worry, grief, guilty, anxiety, or any other experience. We don’t need to cling so tight. Just open the eyes and the senses, take in the outer world, your present experience and start again and again. Each moment arises and passes away.

Taking just a moment of our day to stop and feel can be a wonderful practice. There is a sense of coming home, of groundedness and giving ourselves a momentary respite of spacious silence. To do this find a place where you won’t be disturbed …the bathroom will do if you are in public or at work. Take three or four deep breaths feeling the sensations of your breath in the body. Slowly scan through the body from the feet to the crown of the head. Take another few breaths, open your eyes, and continue with your day. I like to do this when things seem to be taking on a chaotic energy of their own in my life and it is often just what I need to slow down just a little bit, release a bit of stress/tension, and have a more balanced perspective.

Sometimes mindfulness meditation feels pleasurable, we enter into deep states of stillness or we encounter body sensations of peace and a sense of groundedness. Other times it feels very difficult, encountering anxiety, restlessness, sadness, frustration, anger/rage, or any other type of intense sensory experience that can be accompanied by compelling and painful thoughts. At these times we are essentially, as one of my teachers puts it, ‘punching the time card.’ We are doing our time on the cushion and trying the best we can stay with our object of meditation whether that might be the breath, mantra, body sensations, etc. It is important not to be too hard on yourself and to just do the practice. We may feel we will never have a ‘good meditation’ again. Usually this means a quiet or peaceful state. In my opinion the ‘good’ meditation is the one we do. The only ‘bad’ meditation is the one we don’t do. So it is important to persist here and attempt to stay with the object of the meditation and sit or practice (if you are doing an alternative practice) for the time we have committed to. Over time and with practice this difficulty will arise and pass away and we will be more familiar with our own experience. We may feel that nothing is happening as we practice and find ourselves swept up in thought or emotion/sensation. There is a very subtle process at work here that will allow us to become more concentrated and centered as we simply allow ourselves to sit engage with our experience with an unconditional attitude of acceptance. Don’t just take my word for it, check this out and ‘do your time’ on the cushion or with whatever practice you have chosen. Whether it is for 5, 10, 20, 45 minutes – stay with a regular practice over time and see what you notice….

In the Tibetan Lojong practice there is a slogan that I am particularly fond of it is just this:

Regard All Dharmas as Dreams

Dharma loosely translated can mean life lessons, or life path, or even ‘the truth.’ In this case it is often translated as meaning simply, life and the life events that occur for us. Regard these as a dream an, illusion, perhaps even death as a dream, lacking real substance. How do we adjust our values now, if we let go of the solidity and seriousness ‘our life?’

For me this statement adjusts my priorities – a view that includes the highest values being compassion in relationship and connection to my ’self’ and other beings, and acting in a way that reduces harm and suffering for all beings.

This slogan also begs the question: What is not illusory if this life is?

For those of you who are local I will be offering an introductory class on Mindfulness Meditation. This class will meet on Mondays for 6 weeks starting 4/28/08 from 5:30pm-6:45pm in Boulder, CO. This class will focus on developing core mindfulness skills, cultivating relaxation and stress relief, and be a great jumping off place for creating a home practice. For more information, see below. You may register by emailing me at David_Robbins@comcast.net or calling me at 303.225.2700. More info is also available on my website here.

Be Well,

David

Mindfulness Meditation for Relaxation and Stress Relief

Instructor: David Robbins, MA

Location: 2760 29th St., Suite 2C, Boulder, CO 80301

Ph: 303-225-2700
Email: david_robbins@comcast.net
Website: www.davidrobbins.org

Cost: $60 per person ($10/class)

Time: Mondays (6 weeks)
April 28 – June 9
5:30-6:45pm

Please contact David Robbins to register for the class (see contact info above.)

Course Description: The goal of this class is to teach basic skills to promote a stronger connection to one’s self and one’s present experience through guided mindfulness meditations centered on body, breath and the linking of the two. These mindfulness practices will include body scan, mindful breathing, Lovingkindness, and sitting mindfulness practice. Students will learn simple and powerful techniques, in a safe environment, that they can incorporate into a personal mindfulness meditation practice. Mindfulness meditation promotes relaxation and stress reduction, a better relationship with one’s body, increased concentration and attention, better memory, reduction of anxiety, and an overall sense of well-being.

Mindfulness meditation (or Vipassana) is originally derived from the Theravada lineage of Buddhism. It can be learned and utilized as a beneficial practice by followers of any (or no) religion. The practice will be offered to students as a secular practice. This is a beginning meditation class, no previous experience is necessary for this class.

Mindfulness Meditation: Paying attention to one’s experience, in the present moment, with a gentle, unconditional attitude of acceptance.

• Attention – focusing on our experience in the present moment
• Awareness – noticing where your attention is
• Attitude – gentleness, patience, acceptance

We will learn how to engage with our present moment experience through progressively learning mindfulness practices that include: sitting meditation – breath focus, body focus, body scan/awareness, Lovingkindness (Metta) practice We will spend most of the class actively engaged in learning and practicing various methods of mindfulness meditation with a period of discussion at the end of class for questions and reflection.

*Please bring a blanket or yoga mat to the class. Chairs will be provided. If you wish to sit on the floor please bring your own meditation cushion/bench, etc.